What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

Youre mom is so dead...

How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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