Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops