Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Women's rights

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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Refrigerator

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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lol

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Elizabeth Warren

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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