What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Hey, I just met you. Nice to meet you.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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