What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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what?

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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