What did the boy get for christmas? a new lining

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why? Why Not?

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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balls

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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