Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

MAKE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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