Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...