What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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Q:What's the difference between my refrigerator and the trunk of my car? A: There isn't a spare tire in my refrigerator.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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guest what i love pancakes

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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In some aspects, a fowl can be compared by many points to the Tyrannosaurus. But it is still comestible.

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i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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poop

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops