A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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how did Andrew meet adele He was working as a stableboy

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Man U

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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Women's rights.

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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What starts with "R" and ends in "JUR"? RJUR.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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