hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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He--Hey guys

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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How did the polar bear get the bottle of coke? He killed the little boy

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops