what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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A man walks into his house to see his TV is moving. He notices a black man who starts running when he enters. He then calls the police and gives a description of the man. The robber gets placed under arrest.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Bark I'm a tree

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what's the difference between a duck?

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Wanna hear a joke? What? Life.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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