What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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V I T A M I N C !

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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