Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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what did the African kid get for his birthday AIDS

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

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uh uh uh uh .... oh i swallowed my gum

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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