Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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