Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

Rebecca Black walks into a bar and gets shot.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

whats red and falls from a tree an apple

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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