What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

Why isn't this a joke? Because it's not.

How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

Im taking a shit right now.

If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Where's my tractor?

What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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