Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I HAVE AIDS NOW YOU DO TOO

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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