How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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