What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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