You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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this site is an antijoke

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Want to hear a joke? ... Oh dear, I can't think of any. Golly, this is embarrassing.

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Why did the spoon say hi to the fork? To initiate a conversation.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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