What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

Potassium? K.

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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