I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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Roses are Red Violets are Gay This poem makes no sense Octopus

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Yock

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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