Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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pudding

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops