What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why did the car stop? The driver had a stroke

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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