Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

3.14159365358979323846264

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -8

an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops