Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Once upon a time there was a chicken...the chicken married a dog. They dog and the chicken had little baby dog-chickens then the daddy dog killed the mummy chicken by eating her. The baby doggie-chicks saw and tried to run away but the daddy dog ate them too. Moral of the story: Marry someone who can't eat you ;)

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops