Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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