Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Poop!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tough crowd tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops