Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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say cheese

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID, she was recently diagnosed with severe mental retardation and will have to be cared for 24/7

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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anti-joke.com

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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