Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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FUCK THE JEWS

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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