A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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