what did the old lady die of old age...

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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30cm = 0,3meters

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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A man buys a prius

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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You have 10 apples and 12 cabbages How many pizzas can you fit on the roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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