Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

lewis ya baggy fuck

A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

The MLS

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...