Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops