Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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