Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

800 people died last year. end of story

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

how many neggers does it take to screw in a light bul.... Nvm, Neggers be too busy screwing ur wife, plus they're lazy.

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

Whats red and yellow? A chicken in the blender.

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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