If you were a cactus, why?

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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im gey

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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