who is awesome? no one...

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you are a åsshole :)

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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This sentance contains three errers

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

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What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

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more chocolate?

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops