so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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