In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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ok

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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