Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

Dumb

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!