what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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