Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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