What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

Dumb

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

This is Heading 1

What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

What do u call a banana? A banana......

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.