What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops