What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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i have two hands.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Why did little Billy fall of his bike? anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops