why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

Dumb

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

This is Heading 1

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.