Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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jibby jobby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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