What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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