How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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women's rights

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops