- Anti Joke

A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

Okay, after this one then...

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

whats worse then being lit on fire? dont worry about that right now your ass is on fire!

Look whos talking Matt Critchley

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Chris Brown all walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are there.

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

Okay, after this one then...

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Anti Joke

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