I'm at my grandmothers house right now

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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